EXPERIENCING DEATH DAILY
We fear death because others are afraid of the experience. We watch how others behave when those they love, or know, die. We see films, read books, and watch live theatrical productions in which death, and the way it impacts human beings, is put on display. The media thrive on death and flock around it like bees to honey, delivering us frightening imagery to associate with the experience. From the second we are born into this world our parents usher us into life driven by their intent to keep us alive - to keep us from death’s door. During our womb experience our mother secretly prays that we defy death and enter this world alive. On this planet our avoidance of death is our prime unconscious motivation to live. We are all conditioned to fear death.
In this modern age our definition of health is "a state of being in which we appear to be safe from the approach of the death-experience" and our definition of ill-health is "a state of being in which we appear to be moving towards the death-experience". Even though we do not discuss death openly around the dinner table, especially not our inevitable approaching experience of it, we still provide a chair for it in the midst of all occasions. For example, when someone is late and we become concerned, what we are really afraid of is that they might have encountered death on the way.
Whenever we make a decision based on our fears we are making a decision based on the presence of death and our intent to avoid it at all cost. Our religions are founded upon death and what we believe happens to us when this event finally unfolds. Our politicians pass laws that subtly promise to protect us from the possibility of death. Our businesses manufacture and sell us products and lifestyles that guarantee to suspend the inevitable experience of death. We draw up our life goals according to "what we would like to accomplish before we die". Almost every aspect of our life experience is a masked and unconscious dance with death, so much so, that it is hard to imagine what a life experience would be like founded, not upon a desire to escape death, but rather to embrace it as an intimate part of life. In our insane dash away from death and into the arms of what we think life is we have not only lost an awareness of what death really is, but we have completely lost the ability to experience life. Like some New Age cult or orthodox religious group we have, en mass, reactively "fled the darkness in the name of the light" to the point that we recognize neither, and so have become wrapped within our illusions about both.
It is our unwillingness to die to the past and the projected future that constantly robs us of our ability to live fully in this moment. This is the only death we need consciously embrace if we seek to overcome the stranglehold our unconscious fear of death has on our current experience of life.
We have falsely allowed ourselves to believe that death is primarily a physical experience and that when it occurs, everything we are experiencing now ends; that death means "life is over". We have bought into this illusion because we are physically transfixed by the world. We see the world in terms of its physicality; that "the physical" is the causal point of our experience. Therefore, no matter how transcendent we portray ourselves to be, we still behave as if we believe that if our physical body falls apart, so do we.
Being physically transfixed by this world is a frightening state of being to occupy. It causes us to attempt to maintain our physical body in a constant state, which is impossible, because the only constant about the physical world is that it is constantly changing. Whenever our physical body goes through a state of change that is unfamiliar we assume that it is possibly dying or moving closer to death, and so we act from this assumption and attempt to steer its condition back into what we perceive as optimum health. Yet, authentic optimum health is "allowing death to be present within our body in each moment of our life experience", not desperately trying to avoid it.
Change is death.
What do we really mean when we say, "I want to change"?
By seeking change we are actually seeking death. We are seeking death because we are not truly experiencing life. Some part of us knows that we are not truly experiencing life because we have built a fortress around us to keep the experience of death out. Yet, when we enter any practice or procedure that initiates change within our experience, we then complain about the subsequent discomfort that inevitably ensues. This is because we do not consciously realize change is death, and that death is uncomfortable when we resist change. We mistakenly assume that the requested experience we call "change" is magical passageway out of our present discomfort and into an eternally warm and fluffy experience called "happiness". We even say that we want to change "so that we can be happy". Yet what is happiness?
Happiness is a state of doing in which we manipulate our outer circumstances into some arrangement that we perceive will enable us to feel comfortable indefinitely. To remain in this intended state of happiness requires maintaining these outer circumstances as a constant in our lives so that we may be constantly happy. Yet nothing about the outer world remains constant; it’s only constant is change. The physical world is always birthing and dying. Change is the death that births ongoing life by consistently stripping away all time-based illusions. Happiness is an illusionary state that is designed to fool us into believing that there is a possibility of living in this world without the presence of death, without change. When we seek "happiness" we are seeking a hiding place from death, from change, and so from life itself. There is no such place in this world. Death and life are one here.
In this world death is a detergent that cleanses life of time-based illusions.
Our task right now, if we truly intend to live authentically, is to stop our desperate attempt to out-run death. Attempting to out-run death is like attempting to run away from the air we breathe. We cannot; the more we run the more air we breathe. Such behavior only exhausts us and prevents us from coming to rest in the moment we presently occupy.
The moment we are in right now is made complete only by consciously dying to the moment we have just past through, and by ceasing to project the moment we have just past through onto the moment not yet manifest.
To be in this moment fully, to be authentically alive, is to constantly die to all other moments to the point that there is only this moment. This is our intent when we say, "I choose to enter present moment awareness". This intended conscious relationship with life requires an ongoing conscious relationship with death, one in which each moment is a new-found energetic experience.
Present moment awareness is dying to the behavior of attempting to hold on to any energetic circumstance and confining its flow to the way it has just flowed.
A time-based unfolds when we become accustomed to, and hence comfortable with, a certain energetic flow, a recognizable flow, a familiar flow. Our addiction to this comfortable familiarity causes us to control and sedate all energy flows we are experiencing so that they comply with the energetic flow we recognize. This is not possible, will never be possible, and to behave like this causes us great discomfort. Our fear of death is therefore a fear of allowing energy to flow naturally, spontaneously, and unpredictably.
We cannot control or sedate God in an attempt to stop the world and keep it the same so that we can fall asleep and not live consciously. Especially now, as we enter an experience in which all energy flows are increasing exponentially. Attempting to keep our experiences constant now, whether in our working conditions, living circumstances, climatic conditions, political systems, religious or economic conditions, is sheer insanity. It’s like attempting to use our breath to hold back a hurricane.
All the externals of our experience are entering a state of increasing change that is inevitable and unprecedented. This is because we are evolving internally. There is no point of reference in our human history for the experience we are now rapidly entering, so the act of telling ourselves stories about what we think is happening to us is simply the mental body’s desperate attempt to equate what is unfolding now with what happened in the past, and to somehow project this manufactured illusion into the future. The past is dead; only our stories keep it alive. The future is completely unknown to us and will bear no resemblance to the past. Every story we project into the future will be another story we have to die to.
All our stories are untrue.
We are now rapidly and exponentially entering a vibrational experience that is transforming our entire state of being to the point that we become a new species. This vibrational experience radiates along The Pathway of Awareness; first through our emotional body, then through the mental, finally manifesting as circumstances in the physical.
When we are transfixed by the physical world we gaze upon the effects of this transformation and believe them to be the cause. Subsequently, we attempt to remain comfortable by sedating and controlling our outer physical experience. This initiates increasing outer conflict and chaos and it appears as if all our attempts at "happiness" are being undermined.
When we are mentally transfixed by the world, when we attempt to maintain a state of comfort by analyzing and understanding what is happening to us, we experience increasing confusion, anxiety, and a deep sense of inner disquiet. No story we tell ourselves can encompass the magnificence of this unfolding moment; it can only limit it, cause us to feel discomfort within it, and prevent us from embracing the full glory of it.
There is no salvation for us physically or mentally.
Our salvation is in moving our point of awareness to the causal point of our current experience; the emotional body and how it is reacting or resisting to the vibrational frequencies it is presently being exposed to.
In each moment of our daily experience the vibrational body is radiating its shifting frequencies into our emotional body. As it does one of two occurrences unfold:
We unconsciously react and resist the impulses of these shifting frequencies.
We consciously respond and integrate these shifting frequencies.
We can only respond to these transformational vibrational frequencies when we are not afraid of change and therefore willing to die consciously to the past in each moment. To enter the divine dance of dying consciously to the past in each moment requires we begin calming the frantic struggle that arises from our traditional, unconscious way of relating with death. To overcome this unconscious relationship with death, or change, requires we consciously begin transcending our concept of what we think death is. We have to let go of our concept of death as being "a physical experience that creeps up on us and finally culminates as the end of our life".
There is no such thing as "the end of life"; there is just an end of an illusion of what we think life is.
The traditional death experience we all perceive as our inevitable fate is not death at all; it is a singular moment in which we experience a cataclysmic end to the illusion of what we think life is. It is a rebirth into reality. Overcoming our false concept of death is only possible when we allow ourselves to begin experiencing authentic death experiences. Once we learn to die consciously in each moment, to surrender willingly to the changes taking place within each moment, then we are able to perceive the true nature of death and let go of the illusions we have about what life is. Then we are not required to, at some point, have a traumatic cataclysmic experience of dying to those illusions. In other words, by learning how to die right now, we are able to live fully and authentically, and to discover that "what life really is has no end".
This is the extraordinary opportunity greeting us from within the increasing vibrational shifts we are now all moving through as a planetary community. Because these vibrational shifts are so exaggerated, because they now impact us in a way we can no longer ignore or subdue through sedation and control, they enable us to perceive and work with our energy body in a very tangible way. This is especially evident if our emotional body is in a state of resistance and therefore reacting to the increasing vibrational frequencies by radiating discomfort into our daily experience.
Each moment of discomfort arising out of our personal resistance to change is an opportunity to practice dying. In this light discomfort becomes our salvation.
The only condition that causes the radiance of these transformational vibrational frequencies to appear as pain and discomfort to us is where we have points of resistance within our emotional body. These points of resistance are unintegrated energetic patterns related to past experiences. THE PRESENCE PROCESS is a tool that empowers us to bring these circumstances into our awareness so we can integrate them. We presently require such tools because the causal points of these unintegrated experiences are bundles of stuck energy that have no concepts attached to them. We therefore cannot think our way into these blockages and release them through "understanding" or "analysis". We have to invite them to surface into our awareness as feelings, as the raw energetic experiences they are, and then release them by allowing ourselves to feel them fully; to embrace them consciously instead of resisting them. Conscious embrace initiates resolution and release. This procedure of consciously approaching and experiencing emotional release is a portal into discovering how to die consciously.
THE PRESENCE PROCESS is designed to facilitate us to make these adjustments energetically; to die consciously to the past and future in each moment so that we can live fully and authentically in the present. Yet, we do not only have to be involved in the intricacies of a procedure like THE PRESENCE PROCESS to practice dying consciously each day; whenever we are triggered emotionally we are being asked to die consciously to something - we are being asked to die consciously to what we have unconsciously brought into this moment from our past, and to what we are unconsciously projecting from our past into our future.
Let us unmask the experience called death. This is what it is like to be confronted by death:
An event (often trivial) causes us suddenly, and without control, to enter an exaggerated state of emotional, mental, and physical discomfort. The trigger causing this often appears to us as an outer physical circumstance, an activity, or a person’s behavior. It is however being caused by a point in our emotional body that is resistant to a shift currently taking place in our vibrational body. It is an internal experience that is being reflected outwardly. Because we lack emotional body awareness, and have limited insight, we witness this occurrence "out-sight".
We subsequently experience a dramatic shift in consciousness. We immediately begin losing awareness, as if our perception of the world is shutting down and becoming distorted into selective tunnel vision. Dizziness and nausea become evident.
We experience escalating physical, mental, and emotional discomfort, and increasingly enter fight or flight mentality.
Our mood suddenly changes unpredictably like a flag being blown about by a shifting gust. We feel a sense of "crashing inwards" and it becomes impossible to think clearly.
The physical world appears to become duller, flattened, and almost two-dimensional. We lose our ability to be fully aware of what is happening around us.
Our thoughts race – we begin telling stories, plucking at accusations, excuses, and justifications. These stories are told by a voice ranting in our head. If we pay careful attention we realize this is the voice of us at a younger age; an emotionally immature part of us. There is no foundation for the stories told by this inner voice in the present moment, yet we desperately attach them to our present experience, cling to them as gospel-truth, like a frightened child clasping a teddy bear or a doll.
We begin acting outwardly from the point of view of the story we are telling ourselves. This behavior adds chaos and confusion to the moment. It brings pain and hurt to anyone we include in any of our verbal utterances. Within this projected confusion there is a swirling energetic mist of fear, anger, and grief. All accusations we make add to the level of the unconsciousness we are radiating. Any decision made from within this unconscious experience is destructive, reactive, and does not serve us in any way; these decisions are frantic reactions, like a delirious fighter thrashing at the air.
While in this state what we cannot perceive is that nothing real is actually happening. No matter how real these erupting past reflections appear to us, and no matter how intently we project them upon the world around us, our entire internal experience is just that: An unintegrated past experience being reflected outwardly upon the screen of the present moment.
The hardest action to take in the midst of this death experience is to embrace the truth. (The truth shall set us free.) Embracing the truth means admitting that our perception of the triggering event is unfounded, faulty, inaccurate, and that our subsequent behavior is unwarranted. To make such an admission is to die to the story we are telling ourselves. The moment we admit this, the moment we speak the truth (internally or externally), the story dies, we are reborn into the moment and set free of the triggering illusion.
When we die to whatever past experience we are clutching onto we awaken into a more heightened state of consciousness. When we do not, our behavior leads us into deeper and deeper states of unconsciousness. Complete resistance leads us into finding a means to once again sedate and control the awareness of this surfacing illusion so that we may continue our life experience being unconscious about it.
Once we integrate the experience, choose to change, and therefore to die to the story, the illusion of it all becomes obvious to a point of humor. We see that what triggered us is nothing but a shadow of a past incident casting itself upon the light of the present moment. Once we apologize (if necessary) and laugh at ourselves, we have "let go" and returned with a greater sense of awareness into the embrace of life.
From the moment we are emotionally triggered in this manner we enter the ghostly hallways of the past, or more accurately, we bring the past into the present moment and use it to project phantom impressions into the future. In other words, that which is dead, but which we have been breathing an illusionary experience of life into, is being presented to us for integration; we are being confronted by an illusion that we now have to die to. Such an experience, if we can remain conscious within it, is a great opportunity to practice dying.
No matter how "spiritual" we believe ourselves to be, and no matter how much work we believe we have done on ourselves, if we are on this planet right now we are having death experiences just like this. The intensity of our death experiences are determined by the extent to which we hold onto the past and project ourselves into the future. This is happening to us all because this death experience, right now, is an integral part of the current human birth into an evolved state of being.
Letting go of our story is death.
Whole countries hold desperately onto stories about the past, stories that were written by historians and politicians, stories that are not true and have no place now. Religions are desperately holding onto stories about the past, stories written by the priesthood, stories that are not true and have no place now. Economic systems desperately hold onto stories about the past, stories written by business communities, stories that are not true and have no place now. Race groups desperately hold onto stories about the past, stories written by victor and victim mentality, stories that are not true and have no place now. Entire families desperately hold onto stories about the past, stories written by generations long gone, stories that are not true and have no place now. Most of us presently involved in intimate relationships desperately hold onto stories about the past, stories written by our mental body, stories that are not true and have no place now. And then there is us as individuals:
We as we perceive ourselves to be are a story written by our mental body based upon blockages within our emotional body; a story that is not true and that has no place now.
By holding onto these stories we resist the increasing transformation taking place in the vibrational body. This is futile. Unless we willingly die to these stories when the opportunity arises (whenever we are emotionally triggered), we will at some point manifest a singular experience in which we will have to die to the illusion we are holding onto about what we "think" life is. In each moment we are therefore either investing in an authentic death – by dying to what is preventing us from experiencing this moment fully – or, we are investing in an inauthentic death – by setting up momentous singular experience in which we will have to die physically, mentally, and emotionally (dramatically) to the illusion we have constructed about what life is. Either way we face death.
Living each day with intent to die to that which prevents us from being fully present in our life enables us to develop an ongoing relationship with what death really is. The pain and discomfort we go through when triggered unexpectedly is death coming and offering us an opportunity to birth a deeper relationship with life. All we are required to do is let the experience in. Allow it. By feeling the depths of our pain and discomfort when emotionally triggered, by letting go of the accompanying story, by not acting out the fear, anger, and grief these triggers uncover, we are choosing to die consciously. As each of these death experiences pass through our awareness we become more available and sensitive to what life is. The more we practice dying daily to the past, the more our traditional fear of death subsides. Our traditional concept of death, the one we have been conditioned to run from, then recedes like an outgoing tide. Consequently, we no longer make decisions based on fighting it back or trying to evade or delay it.
When we allow ourselves to die consciously to the past our physical death no longer matters to us.
The more we allow ourselves to feel everything, to feel the seeming discomfort of the energetic transformation taking place in our midst, the more comfortable we become. It is a strange paradox; evolution dictates that strange is to become the new familiar, and weird the new normal. It is not a case of "getting over my issues so that I can be happy". It is also not a case of attending to a spiritual practice so that "I can permanently enter a state of Nirvana". These are delusional intents, distractions, and usually unconscious escape routes from having to live consciously. Such intents set up unrealistic expectations and cultivate destination-consciousness.
The best way to remain conscious through this unfolding transformation is to refrain from assuming we know what is supposed to be happening or how it is going to turn out. We must die to all of this mental conjecture. Our mental body will struggle to make sense of all of this; it will continually attempt to design systems and to perfect procedures that it believes deliver us into comfortable familiarity. In these attempts it will continue to fail hopelessly. Becoming conscious of, and then dying to what is preventing us from showing up in this moment, is the only authentic path into the heart of life.
Embracing our death consciously moment by moment is revelationary; it unmasks the authentic face of life and delivers us beyond the limitations of our present human story.
Michael Brown ©